All in how you look at it?

So, why do I spend all day taking care of deathly sick kids. . . kids born without portions of their brain, kids with muscles that just don't work, kids with hearts that can't pump right, kids with bones full of cancer? Why, then do I get to leave this place and go home to my two (usually)happy, healthy boys, play with them, make them laugh, and then kiss them goodnight?

Life is definitely not fair.

I'm at Children's Hospital this month taking care of the sickest kids in the region. Of course, most of the kids here are not so deathly ill or permanently handicapped. A lot are, though. The hours are long here, and Stephanie has been really great in spite of not seeing me for days at a time. I miss my wife and my boys. I have to admit, though, that there is a twinge of guilt when I see Caleb watching from the window. My perfectly formed, fully functional, and really intelligent boy. There was recently a mom and baby in PNG who were in the same predicament as Stephanie and Caleb when he was born. The PNG boy didn't make it. Then I see babies, BABIES just about Thane's age, with leukemia fighting for their life and getting poison pushed into their bodies to try and kill their cancer. Why am I and my family so blessed and others so seemingly cursed?

Is it just the way the world works? Chalk it up to luck or chance? God's perfect plan?? I have thought an awful lot about it, and I honestly don't know. I'm glad I'm not God. It would probably break my heart even more than it does now.

One thing I do know: I am grateful for a God who meets people where they have need, and not necessarily "needs" as we see them. I know that in the grand scheme of things these bodies are of no consequence, and while that makes my job a lot more trivial, it does provide a measure of comfort.