The Name Game

Many of you know by now, but I am pleased to report that we are going to have another baby boy! I'm glad I don't have to join Deputy Kumorski into the uncharted waters of parenting females (yet). It would have been nice for Stephanie to even up gender teams, but I am glad Caleb will have a little brother. Now, the name debate starts in earnest. Naming a kid is pretty intimidating in my book. I thought it'd be easier the second time around, but no dice! We'll see how it goes.

It's Official

I am now "Dr Ben Kumor, MD." Weird. Ask the 10-years-ago me or any of my family if they ever saw this coming in a million years. I mean, I used to hate school, love sleep, and was terribly lazy. Some things never change, but at least now I'm done with school! My style has been severely cramped in the sleep and laziness departments, though, and it doesn't look like that's changing any time soon.

At any rate, a full 20 years of school (21 if you count kindergarten) has culminated in a pretty cool degree. The hooding ceremony was nice, and some folks even came out to see it. Stephanie and Caleb were there, of course, with some of our good friends from our time in Ohio: Paul and Sheila Majewski and James Lee. Stephanie's folks and her brother David were there as well, and I have always appreciated the way her family makes occasions like this a big priority. My family was represented by my oldest brother Brent, who was a real trooper and drove the 13+ hours all the way from Nebraska in the middle of the week. Like I said, the ceremony was nice. We all had our names read as "Dr So and So" for the first time, got our hood (a goofy piece of academic regalia worn around your neck and down your back), and recited a cleaned up version of the Hippocratic Oath - no swearing by Apollo, no promising to educate other doctors' kids for free, no forbidding surgery or abortions - along with an oath some members of the class came up with basically promising to do right by our patients and be good doctors.

Do I feel any different now? Nope. Should I? I hope not! Maybe it's the 3 years of training I still have left, or that I didn't really pour my heart and soul into med school like some of my classmates, or because I haven't dreamed of being a doc my whole life, but whatever the reason it seems a little anticlimactic.

I think one reason might be a post PNG hangover. I finally got to see there what I got into medicine for. It wasn't a bunch of rich people looking for a pill to make them skinny and happy and full of energy. It wasn't doing every test remotely related to what is going on so you don't get your butt sued. And it wasn't even doing a darn good job practicing medicine to get a nice paycheck and help a few people along the way. Medicine at Kudjip Nazarene Hospital is all about doing a ton with very little to help out needy, hurting, sick people and pointing them to the Lord while you do it. What more could a young, not-yet-jaded doctor want? If you asked my fellow classmates, I think you'd get a lot of different answers. I guess I'm just not looking forward to American medicine again. I've got a ton to learn, though, and this is the best place in the world to learn it. I just hope I can stay objective and do a good job of picking out the good and the bad of how things are done.

Where am I going with all this? I guess I am reminded during this graduation time that life really is a continuous process. Even though there are these milestones along the way, there's still a lot of work to be done in every aspect of my life before I can look at myself and be satisfied with what I see. So, even though this is a big milestone, what I really need to do is get back to the work of serving and growing so I can be prepared to serve better.

A house, family, and Memorial Day

After we got back from PNG, my wife and I had two pretty different views on our housing situation for the next three years. To boil it down, I wanted to buy, and she wanted to rent. I thought, there's no time like now to buy, right? I mean, everyone is always saying it's a buyer's market, and the internet can make places look pretty sweet, especially when you're in a "least developed nation." Stephanie, however, had a different perspective, largely due to her parents' current situation involving a house that won't sell and renters who don't pay rent. Understandable. So, we came to Nebraska determined to look at all our options and make a good decision.


In situations like this where big decisions are involved, I think it's beneficial to have differing opinions on what to do. Well, at least as long as both are not too attached to their opinions. I mean, I knew I was going to have to have pretty good reasons to buy for Stephanie to feel good about it, and vice versa. Otherwise, we might just brush over the reasons against, and go ahead with something that may not be the best for us.


In the end, we went house hunting, couldn't find anything worth buying for a price worth paying, and settled on a nice little house for rent. It is owned by an outgoing resident at UNMC and her husband, and it is less than 5 minutes from the med center. They are giving us a sweet deal on rent, and are going to hire a lawn service to mow once a week. Score! So, even though I "lost," I think we ended up in a really good situation. Here's a picture of the place.
Nothing flashy, but very well taken care of 3 bedroom, 2 bath, finished basement, with appliances that stay and a nice backyard. And yes, the Wii will go nicely in that basement! The only hang up will be when we can move in, but once we do, you're more than welcome to visit.


Since I don't blog too often (sorry Officer Kumorski) I've got a couple more topics to touch on. It's been really nice to spend time with my family since we returned to Bellevue last Friday. I've been staying at my dad's house, so I've gotten to see quite a bit of him and my step-mom. It's been really nice to get to chat with my dad, and even nicer to see Caleb have lots of fun with his grandparents. Elizabeth helped me unload our moving truck, even with her bum elbow, and I had a great time just laughing with her again. I've also gotten to hang out with John and Brent, and then all three of them together along with some of Brent's friends on Memorial Day. I haven't seen much of Rebecca and her kids yet, but hopefully we'll get to hang out soon. It's been nice to kind of catch up a bit, and it just reinforces to me that even though we are very different people with some differing views on life and what constitutes acceptable beverages/entertainment/behavior, I love them all and look forward to the next three years of being (geographically) close.


As far as Memorial Day goes, I've got to give a shout out to my brother. Check out his blog for a good commentary on the holiday, especially in light of current politics. I really don't have much to add, except to say thanks for your service to all our guys who have been involved in making and keeping our country and world a better place.

back in the US

Thankfully, the trip home was pretty uneventful. We left Kudjip on Friday morning for our flight from Mt Hagan to Port Moresby, where we stayed at MAPANG, a missionary guest house. It was nice and relaxing, but much hotter than in the highlands! Saturday we flew to Tokyo and spent the night in a Holiday in by the airport. Once again, a nice relaxing night. On Sunday, we made the marathon plane flight to Chicago. We left around 4:30 in the afternoon, but crossed the international date line on the way, so we arrived at 1:30pm on Sunday. The weirdest thing about the flight was watching the sunrise at 11:30pm. Caleb did well, and managed to avoid any "accidents" the whole way! We were awful proud of him. The last few hours on the way to Chicago were a bit hard on us all, but we made it.

I've tried a couple times to write a nice summary blog about our experiences in PNG and how it has affected us, but it just isn't coming out right. I think that's going to have to be a process. It will have to suffice for now to just say that it was the time of our lives, and we really won't ever be the same. When Caleb was looking at pictures while we traveled, he just kept saying "I wanna go back to Papua New Guinea!" It was tough for all of us to leave, but hopefully we'll have a chance to go back some day.

Since being home in the States, I have been struck by a few things.
1)It is indeed possible to be in amongst a group of people and not be overcome by the BO
2)Public bathrooms are amazingly clean
3)Most folks really do wear shoes
4)Fast food really isn't as good as you remember it
5)Jetlag is a bugger, especially with a 2 year old

As a reward for Caleb doing his business in the big boy potty, we have been promising him a new Thomas the Tank Engine train of his choosing when we got back to the States. He always insisted he wanted a Diesel 10. Now, this is not exactly a main character, so we kind of doubted that we'd be able to find it. Chalk one up for Wal-Mart! The three of us made a trip at 4am on Monday (mid afternoon for us) and there he was. Caleb was pumped, and has been playing with him almost non-stop since.

The reason it was "almost" non-stop: Caleb drew blood from another child for the first time last night. He was playing with his cousin Katy (6 year old) in the living room unsupervised. We hear Katy crying from the other room, and when we get in, she's got a nice little 1cm cut over her right lateral cheekbone and is bleeding from it pretty well. Caleb is standing there with a large train flashlight in his hand saying "Katy has ketchup on her." He was just as suprised as everyone else, I think. That was the end of playing with trains for the evening. Thankfully, Katy's cut was nothing I couldn't fix with a little superglue!

Katy and Caleb don't exactly play well together, and usually both of them end up pretty ticked off. Katy wants Caleb to be her doll, and Caleb wants Katy to stay away from any toy he lays eyes on. Not a great combination. Who knows what led up to The Incident, but it looks like they'll be restricted to only supervised visitation for awhile.

A PNG cave adventure

It's hard to know exactly how to begin this epic tale and just how detailed to be in my description of it. I could honestly write for hours about everything that happened, but I will spare you most of it. For those who want a more in depth version, we can sit and chat about it over a cold root-beer and some beef jerky some evening when I get back to the States.

Speaking of, I now have only 3 full days left here before we start our long trip home. The time has gone by so fast, but in this short time I have learned a great deal about a lot of things, not just medicine. I will really miss being here, but that is another topic for another blog. Back to the story.

There is a cave in the mountains near Kudjip that Scott Dooley has been wanting to explore for some time. He has previously been lowered inside the rim, far enough to see the bottom and to realize his rope was not long enough to reach it. This last furlough, though, he bought a new, longer rope and the gear necessary to ascend on the rope out of the cave. In Sam and I he found willing accomplices, and the adventure was on. Now, the nationals here have no interest in descending into caves. In fact, they believe that spirits inhabit caves, especially this one, and they are easily angered. Even some of the Christians here can't shake some of the old tribal beliefs. More than once we were warned or cautioned by nurses at the hospital to be careful about such things.

A legend regarding this particular cave goes something like this: A long time ago there was a man who was trying to catch a pig. In the process, he fell over the edge of the cave to his death. Some villagers wanted to retrieve the body for a proper burial, so they connected lots and lots of bush rope and lowered one man down into the cave. When he neared the bottom, he saw an old man sitting and making a belt and an old woman sitting and making a bilam. Between them laid the dead man. The man on the rope was so frightened by this he yelled loudly and was quickly pulled out of the cave. Our guide said this was only a tale, and nobody really thought it was true. Evidently it is just one of those stories to keep people away. He also said that no one had ever been into the cave in his time or his father's time or his grandfather's time. Basically, whether for fear of their safety, of spirits, or of old folks weaving clothing accessories, people steered clear of this place.

We, however, are crazy white-skins, so we were all about it. I have very little experience with repelling and ropes in general, and Sam has none, so we practices a couple times in Scott's tree. This went pretty well, and we were all planning on a smooth operation. Saturday came, and we all met in front of the hospital to set off on our journey. After a quick prayer at the gate, as is customary for all treks off the station, we drove about a half hour on very uneven roads to a town called Konduk about 30 minutes away. We got the truck stuck, unstuck, then parked, and made the rest of the way on foot. What a hike it was! The terrain was a bit difficult at times, but the view from the top of the mountain was amazing. There's definitely not anything like it in Nebraska! Along the way we picked up our guide, John. We got to talk quite a bit on the trail, where he informed me that lots of folks call him Papa John. This of course led to me trying to explain pizza and restaurant chains to him, probably in vain.

We made really good time and reached the cave after about 2 hours of hiking. The cave is actually a large 150 ft deep hole in the ground, roughly 10 x 20 feet wide at the mouth. There is a small shelf maybe 6 or 8 ft back and 10 ft wide right at the mouth, and another 8 or 10 feet above that is the rest of the mountain. After we got down on to the shelf, Scott set up all our safety ropes, we got all our gear on, and we were all pumped and ready to rock. Okay, I was a bit nervous, being as I'm afraid of heights and was standing in front of a 150 ft drop, but that's besides the point. Scott repelled down first, followed by Sam, then me. It was a pretty sweet ride down! There were bats everywhere, huge fruit bats that people here call "flying foxes." None of them got too close, but hearing their shrieks and seeing their huge wing span was pretty impressive. The cave opened up pretty quickly into a large cavern with a few large cracks in the walls where the majority of the bats were. We had to repel right past one such crack/crevasse, which was a little nerve wracking! Everyone made it safely to the bottom, and what we found there was about as expected: a huge mound of debris and tons of bat crap. What we didn't expect was just how many bats were in this cave. When all of us shined our lights at the far wall, all the bats' eyes made it look as if the wall was on fire! It was incredible. After looking around for a bit, we all decided it was time to head back up.

I was to go first, and so I got all settled in and started up the rope. We were using what's called an ascender and a shunt, basically two one way rope valves that would allow us to make slow and steady progress up the rope safely. I was about 100 ft up when for a brief time I was in pretty significant danger of falling due to an equipment malfunction. For the next hour, I hung there praying intensely and trying to rectify the problem, only to eventually (and with much difficulty) return to the less than ideal situation I found myself in an hour earlier. I must give the Lord credit for answering my prayers for calmness and strength. There were a couple occasions I didn't think I would be able to get myself out, but God was with me in that cave. Oh, how glorious it was to finally make it out! I was exhausted, but there was a definite feeling of relief and accomplishment.

I sent the gear down to Sam, who was up next. He never really felt comfortable with the shunt and ascender even in the tree, and the cave proved to be to difficult for him. The ascender was also not sliding up the rope quite like it should have, which made things even tougher. After a lot of effort and not much to show for it, the decision was made to get him back down, have Scott ascend, then have Scott, John, and I pull Sam out.

Scott made it out without too much difficulty, then we set about trying to get Sam up. Turns out it was a heck of a lot harder than we thought it would be. After trying several different set ups for close to an hour, we decided to call back to the station for help. We also sent the ascending gear back down to Sam, hoping he could make it out on the second try and we could call off the cavalry when they reached Konduk. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. To make things worse, evening came, the walkie-talkie batteries went dead, Sam's headlight went out, and the bats were waking up and making a horrible racket. Praise the Lord it didn't rain!! Poor Sam was stuck hanging there for around 2 hours, but help came in the form of Jeff , several native nursing students, and a couple of Konduk men to help pull Sam out. With all the manpower, we got him out pretty quickly.

It was pitch black by this point and we had quite a hike in the dark ahead of us, but the worst was over. Word spread pretty quickly about everything, and there were lots of people waiting for us both at Konduk and back at Kudjip. Sam has done a really good job of assimilating here and the natives all love him for it. When we dropped him off at his house on the station, there were at least 30 people there waiting for him.

I got home, took a long hot shower, cleaned out all my cuts and scrapes, and ate my first real meal of the day. It sure was nice to see Stephanie and Caleb! Needless to say, I don't think Stephanie will be approving of any more spelunking trips, but I definitely got the taste of some true PNG adventure.

Pictures to come!

Softball, town, and more water adventures

Last weekend, everyone got together and decided to play some muddy softball. I know, a little late, but I finally downloaded the pictures off our fully-functional camera and couldn't pass this one up. This is after a pretty darn muddy afternoon of softball in which I failed to make Baldwin Fields proud... sorry Mr Shada! I think my wife out hit me at least half the time, and I definitely had to make use of the "nobody strikes out" rule at least once. All in all, though, it was a great afternoon of fun with our friends here. I was on call last weekend, but I was able to be there for almost the entire game before being summoned to the hospital for an inning and a half or so.

While Stephanie and I played softball, Caleb was having a grand old time with Priscilla Radcliff (Dr Jim's teenage daughter) and the younger two Dooley girls (Emma and Olivia). Caleb has really warmed up to the people here, especially Priscilla, and it is really nice to let him go off and play with the other kids. It seemed like in the States he only felt comfortable if Stephanie or I was within arm's reach... it is nice to see him spread his wings a little and really enjoy himself. Another thing he has been working on recently is saying hello to people as we walk by. Now he says "Apinun!" (like saying afternoon here) loudly and then says, "Daddy, I did a good job saying 'Apinun'!!" He is a funny kid.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we went to town a week ago last Thursday where we got some grocery shopping done, got some much needed cash from the ATM's, and went to the Highlander for lunch and a dip in the pool. Here's a picture of the boy and I there. The pool is really nice, and the food is good too. If you ever are visiting Mt Hagen, PNG, this is definitely a good place to stay.

Now, outside the grocery store are some old men who we affectionately call the Basket Men. They sit out and weave cool baskets and coasters and pot holders all day. When they see us white skins, their eyes turn to dollar signs and they pounce. They are really nice about it, but they bring over all their stuff and start telling us prices. We have bought a few things from them, and the missionaries see them quite often, so these guys feel pretty comfortable around us. Anyway, here is a picture of one displaying his wares. There really aren't too many people who sell touristy-type souvenirs. In fact, the only ones I've seen are at the Highlander Hotel. I guess there just aren't many tourists here. There are two local guys - one who does wood carvings named Joel and one who does wood/bamboo burnings named Gideon that have been by our house at the station to sell us things, but that's about it.

This past week, (getting a bit more recent) we did another ultrasound of our little guy/girl. You might be able to make him/her out on the ultrasound screen if you look hard and use your imagination. Like I've said, it is pretty cool to be able to have a look at your unborn baby whenever you feel like it. I'm always amazed by how active those kids are! It's a wonder you pregnant women get any sleep at all with a little kid doing somersaults in your womb all night.

Just to inject some medicine into this blog entry, I'll tell you about the most common procedure I do here: incision and drainage (I&D) of abscesses. As Niles (visiting doctor who recently returned to the States) said, this is the land of puss. People here generally have poor hygiene and are also pretty hard on their bodies, which I'm guessing is the reason for all the skin infections. In the States, we see mostly staph abscesses on legs or buttock that seemingly come up from nothing. Here, I've seen abscesses mostly on the feet of adults, but also a couple in the legs of babies from immunizations. Kids here also get a lot of septic joints and osteomyelitis, which is kind of a different beast, but from the same general problem. People here just have bacteria floating around in their blood (bacteremia) a lot more than we do due to their hard life and poor sanitation. If they get a bruise, be it in their bone or joints or anywhere else, the bacteria can seed those little hematomas and form abscesses. Here's the picture of a really nice kid I saw in clinic with an abscess that was not typical of what I usually see. He presented originally with painful swelling just above his elbow. There is an important lymph node there, so he was given antibiotics and told to follow up. I saw him at his follow up appointment, and took this picture. An infection had seemingly traveled up his lymphatics to his axillary (armpit) nodes. The poor guy was in some pretty good discomfort, but the nodes were pretty firm and didn't feel really fluctuant (fluid-filled), so I gave him different antibiotics and had him come back in a couple of days. This time, the swelling had gone down a bit and the lumps were much more fluctuant and there was lots of fluid on ultrasound, so we decided to stick a needle in and see what I could find. Well, it was definitely puss. I took the needle out and set up for the I&D, but there was so much pressure in there it was just pouring out of the little needle hole. I finally was able to cut it open and get all the infection out, rinse it, and put in a wick to keep the hole open and let it drain. The same day, I saw a good old American style butt abscess that had been let go far too long. The guy said he had seen a private doctor three times since it came up, but all they had done was give him pain pills and had never even looked at it. Well, I had to knock this guy out with ketamine and Valium to do the job, because it was the biggest abscess I'd ever seen. Poor guy. To top off the afternoon, I saw an old lady who had a more typical abscess of the foot. Typical, except that this had gone waaaaay too long without care (as opposed to the typical way too long) and I really think she is going to lose her little toe over the deal. Looking back on a day like that, it's not hard to see why Niles gave me the title of Dr Puss.

After that appetizing conversation, here is a picture of our dinner Friday night. Homemade pizza, some freshly cut pineapple, canned corn, and some freshly squeezed lemonade. Pretty darn good. I must take credit for the pineapple and lemonade, but Stephanie has really done a good job of keeping us fed in circumstances she is not accustomed to. I think she used real yeast for the first time here. Everything has been really good, and today she even got some compliments from the missionary wives at a potluck. Way to go Stephanie!

After having to spend a good chunk of last weekend at the hospital, it was really nice to relax and do some fun things with Stephanie and Caleb yesterday and today. On Saturday (yesterday) we took a walk down to the river again to play in the water and have a little picnic. This picture is via the timer on the way down. I know I've said it before, but it seems like pictures just don't do the scenery justice. Anyway, we got there without too much trouble, except that Stephanie was watching a mother pig with her piglets along the path. The sow evidently saw Stephanie as a threat and followed us all the way down to the river. At that point, I decided enough was enough, so I decided to man up, protect my family, and... throw rocks at it like the natives do. Hey, it worked. Caleb and I had a great time playing in the water and Stephanie got some much deserved rest on the river bank. The only dark spot on the afternoon was Caleb's first sunburn. Yes, I am the worst parent ever. Before we left, Stephanie mentioned the sunscreen, but it was really overcast and it was even sprinkling a bit, so I said not to worry about it for now. Stephanie did get some on him after we got to the river and had played a bit, but it was too late for his little neck. I never did put any on and got absolutely fried. Just goes to show you really can get burned through the thickest of clouds, especially a mile high and near the equator!

Also yesterday, we met the woodcarver Joel, who was selling pigs. I am proud to say that I am a real Papua New Guinea man now that I own my own pig. I told this to Thomas (the native guy who takes care of the hydro power) who we hung out with last night along with two of his kids, Samuel and Nancy. He got a good laugh out of that. We had a chance to talk a bit about PNG culture and American culture, which was neat. At one point, he asked if there was any crime in the US. I guess all the Americans he's ever met have been missionaries. He was a bit surprised to find that, yes, there was crime, and even murders in the States. And the fact that police are generally trustworthy and not terribly corrupt was even more surprising for him. We also talked about bride-prices, how weddings work, the gardens that everyone keeps, and the importance of pigs. It was a pretty good time.

Today, being the first Sunday of the month, was the big English service at the hospital chapel. All the English speaking missionaries from around here are invited to come and worship together. Today was also the day for the potluck, which is only every other month. We got to meet several people from nearby from other denominations, like a couple of British families who are working on Bible translation in a tribe across the Waghi River. Stephanie made a cheesy, meaty, pasta bake type of thing and an apple crisp desert that were both really good. Then it was time for church, where a man who does short term work all over the world spoke out of John 12:20-26, basically encouraging all the missionaries that they were doing exactly what Jesus asks all of us to do: give our lives to Him and do His work.

After church, Stephanie, Caleb, and I along with Scott, the Dooley girls, Jessica, Ethan, Sam, Lydia, Cassie, and Kristyn (not sure about that spelling) went to the Rock Slides, which is just what it sounds like. Lots of waterfalls with some pretty smooth rocks that make good slides down into calm, shallow pools. It was gorgeous. Here is a picture of Scott and I talking in front of one of the falls. We took tons of pictures, and the camera stayed dry, which is always a good thing. We all had a great time, but the place was awfully slippery and Sam and I were pretty clumsy, both falling a couple times. Both of us had slips involving kids, but everyone turned out alright and I think we felt worse than anyone about it! Caleb had a good time, and learned that daddy can be a bit clumsy at times. By the end of the day, he was encouraging me to take Sam's hand up some steep slippery inclines so that we wouldn't fall. "It's okay Daddy" he would say, "Sam can help us up." So much for me being the big tough guy! It was a really fun time.

Thoughts on our 2nd baby

To depart a bit from the running theme, this will be a bit more introspective.

Pretty much my whole adult life, I've looked forward to being a dad. Caleb has definitely not disappointed. He and I have a great time together just laughing and playing and being goofy. It is also pretty cool to be able to teach him things and talk to him about God and other important topics. This week, he has even been pooping in the toilet, which is freaking AWESOME!! I love being Caleb's dad, and I am really looking forward to meeting the baby that's inside Stephanie.

That said, I am also scared to death. I am really not looking forward to the rollercoaster that was Caleb's birth and NICU stay, not to mention Stephanie's blood pressure and stay in the hospital. Caleb was born at 30 weeks, so I just keep telling Stephanie our goal with this one is 33-34 weeks. If we can make that, things will be relatively smooth. It is a nice thought, but I worry about what will happen if things are worse this time instead of better. I will be in my intern year and we will have a two year old at home, so that immediately complicates things. We were very blessed to come out of things without complications the first go round, but Stephanie could have very easily had a stroke or seized or been left with kidney or liver damage. Caleb did remarkably well, but could have had any of the complications of prematurity like brain/eye/gut problems. Was it selfish of me to want another baby? Am I risking my wife's life here? Stephanie wanted one as well, though, and we both agreed Caleb needed a sibling. I guess I just don't want to be second guessing myself later if things go bad.

Sometimes I think about what life would be like if Stephanie or Caleb hadn't made it, or what life will be like if Stephanie or baby 2 doesn't make it through this time. All these fears that I tell myself aren't worth thinking about or are only semi-rational keep popping up. This is probably because I really can't do anything about it. That is the worst part. If I could give Stephanie some medicine or be extra vigilant about her blood pressure (which I will, starting right at 20 weeks), I might feel better. All we can do, though, is sit and wait. I feel a bit bad for Stephanie, because it is hard to just enjoy being pregnant and looking forward to the baby. I don't think being in a 3rd world country is helping in that aspect either. I will say, though, that it is nice to be able to do an ultrasound here whenever we want.

Through it all, I must keep reminding myself about how well God has taken care of us. Now, I don't believe that Christians have a pass on suffering. I've seen and heard of enough suffering here among our brothers and sisters in Christ to be doubly sure of that. If something terrible happens, that doesn't change who God is or my relationship with Him. I just know that whatever happens, good or bad, that God promises to bear our burdens with us and share in our joys. As Caleb's VeggieTales movie has reminded me, God does not give us a spitit of fear.

The conclusion from all of that? I'm still excited, and still nervous, about baby #2. Hopefully things will all work out smoothly. But, even if they don't, it will be okay. At least we'll be close to family in Nebraska!